Some Days You Can't Hurry Love

Diana Ross and the Supremes belted out the best Mama-advice. They told us that Mama said you can't hurry love, you just have to wait. You gotta trust, give it time, no matter how long it takes. Great song, great lyrics, and you can dance to it.

My life is a testimony to the truth in Mama's words. I waited, gave it time before I found someone to call my own.  Somewhere in that time, instead of waiting, I accepted my life as a single woman. Single life was good. I had extended family, a profession that gave me meaning and passion, and close friends whom I loved and who loved me; friends with whom I could be openly weird, no judgment.

However...I always had my own place to go. I had a place with my own stuff and my own shoes. Lots of shoes. A place where I could metaphorically dance because no one was looking. A place where no one needed me to be anything other than what I needed to be for myself.

When I met Jay and we started to develop feelings for each other, I was confused. My path was that of a single, professional woman. I had to slowly let go of what I had thought I was because my life was going in a new direction. My path took a soft right and merged with Jay's path.

I am happy to say that I chose the right person to travel beside.  I am also happy to say that I no longer need to wait until I am completely alone in order to be completely myself. Because I have learned what it means to be completely myself with another person. My spouse has seen my soul. He has shown me his and I have shown him mine.

This morning I texted our daughter to say Happy Valentine's Day. In the text, I told her, "You are so loved."  Her response? "I know." It fills me with so much emotion to know that her soul knows love. We have grown into a trio of soulmates.

Today is all about hearts and flowers and chocolates. When I was single, I always had this tiny sense that I was missing out on something on February 14. Truth be told, it kind of aggravated me. Now I know that, yes, I may have been missing out on Fannie May, mushy Hallmark cards, and red floral bouquets given to you by another person. But those things are romance. The things that are good for your soul...that is love.

Some Days Are Predictable

Some things are predictable. Like catching a cold in February. Which I, predictably, have done. I find the predictability of this cold strangely reassuring.

Predictable can be good. The longer I live, the more I know this to be true. There is a certain level of comfort knowing what is coming next.

Predictable can also be boring. This is especially true when things are just a little bit too predicable. Like a movie on Lifetime Movie Network. I say this from recent experience. I watched several of these movies this past weekend. With a cold, it is hard to do anything that takes too much physical or cognitive energy. I really did not worry about being out of breath or needing to connect any dots with a LMN movie.

Unpredictable can also be good. Like a bouquet of flowers delivered at work, reminding you - and all of your colleagues - how loved you are. Like a daughter who announces she would like to change her hair to a color not found in nature. Unpredictable is definitely not boring.

Unpredictable, along with uncertainty and ambiguity, can be not so good. Really not so good. Bad. Times when it feels like the floor has dropped out from under us. Times so unpredicted that it is not possible to be prepared, to feel at all ready to take on the challenge.

I find I am not surprised when something predicable happens. So why is it so unbelievable when something unpredictable happens?

I cannot really go any further with this thought because of this predictable, February cold. I hope this cold is over soon. Best to be healthy - physically, emotionally, spiritually - when the next wave of unpredictable comes knocking. Because it always does.