Some Days I Resolve

This past year, one of my very best friends and I have been following the advice best summed up in this poem by Jenny Joseph:

Warning

By Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

And run my stick along the public railings

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick flowers in other people’s gardens

And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go

Or only bread and pickle for a week

And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

And pay our rent and not swear in the street

And set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Jenny Joseph wrote this poem when she was twenty-nine years old. Such wisdom at such a young age! To be honest, neither my friend nor I are willing to grow fat gracefully. And I may spend my pension (or 401k Plan) on wine, not brandy. My girlfriend will probably spend it on fountain Diet Coke. But what we eat and drink is not really the point.

My dear friend and I pinky swore in 2014 to be ourselves. It sounds so elementary.  In our many chats, the kind of chats BFFs are want to have, we realized that we both - way too often - found ourselves being who people wanted us to be or who others expected us to be rather than who we really were. So this past year, we decided we needed to practice being brave. And being brave meant being real. We asked ourselves the hard questions. We fought the power of willful ignorance. We were determined to be who we were created to be.

I don't believe anyone who chooses to do this work can do it alone. We do it in our own time and in our own way with consistent support and persistent prodding. In many ways, as adult friends, we can parent each other, sometimes doing the work of re-parenting, filling in the parts that somehow got missed or messed. Sometimes we do for each other what our parents started for us.

I heard this statistic. One-third of all Americans resolve on New Year's Eve to better themselves in some way. I would have guessed it was more than that.

The statistic goes on.  In this group of "Resolutionists," less than half actually make good on their resolutions, as measured by how many are still on target in six months. I would have guessed it was less than that.

Apparently the secret to being resolute for the long haul is to pick one goal and stick with it.  But how do you pick just one ?

I have been thinking about this all day and I think I have it. I think my friend is going to like this. We have been doing this, both in our own ways, throughout 2014. Here it is, my New Year's Resolution for 2015. It is adapted from the wonderful Ann Lamott:

One step, two steps, breathe, repeat.

Happy New Year!

Wishing everyone the courage, and the support, in 2015 to be who you were created to be.

And, when in doubt, breathe.

Poster by Kathy Sprinkle, Blisshearts.com