Some Days Are Scandalous

I just spent the last thirty minutes listening to the speech Monica Lewinsky gave at Forbes' 30 Under 30 Summit yesterday. Her speech was posted on Facebook.

As I listened, I thought anyone hearing her words could not help but feel compassion for the total dreadfulness of her experience.  After listening, I read the posted comments. Some of the responders voiced a sense of compassion. Well over half, however, were outraged. Some were quite crass in their expression of outrage. Some refused to believe anything she had to say, posting things like, "She knew he was married, she deserved the crap that followed."

I am grateful these negative responders were not around when I was in my twenties. I did not have an affair with a married man.  Nor do I recall dating a single political figure. But I did make a fool of myself. I have a life theory that many people make a fool of themselves over someone of the opposite sex in their twenties. Most of us learn our lesson and go on to make wiser choices. Some of these lessons for some of us are harder learned than for others.

All of the negative commenters pretty much proved the point Monica Lewinsky made in her speech.  Her point was not that she had made a mistake. No kidding she made a mistake.  Her point was not that she used poor judgment. Is anyone debating poor judgment? Her point was not even that she was young, although she was in her early twenties.

Her point was to share her experience of shame, public shame. The kind of public shame that made her wonder if she could go on living. The kind of shame that made others, like Tyler Clementi, decide they could not go on living. The kind of shame the Internet can facilitate.

Monica Lewinsky was talking about her own experience. Her experience was painful, for all involved. Adultery exposed is never pretty, be it locally or internationally. She was telling her story. A story that involved the World Wide Web, among other things. My personal take was that telling her story took a helluva lot of guts.

Near the end of her speech, Monica Lewinsky quoted Oscar Wilde. Interestingly, a century before the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal, Oscar Wilde was enmeshed in a scandal. He was arrested and convicted of "gross indecency." Oscar Wilde was gay and went to prison because of this. The quote she referred to was written by Wilde when he was imprisoned.

 "Beyond sorrow, there is sorrow. To mock at a soul in pain is a dreadful thing."